The 4th Month!

Great day to remember. And keep moving on.

Tomorrow will be a better day for u and me!

Confusion?

Life is always full of confusion.

Everyday be thankful for what you have and who you are. This is just a simple request!

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morninglight as long as possible. Appreciate that I can see, many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising. Appreciate that I have the strength to rise.There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous. Appreciate for the opportunity to work. Thereare many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day today and wish my circumstances were not so modest. Appreciate that, that is my life......

Have i let go?

Talk is always easy. I keep telling myself to let go, but seem like it is really so hard.

Every morning, when i opened my eye, i always ask myself the same question again and again, have i let go?

You might think that it is so easy. And i know in your mind, you will ask, why until now you still cant let go? Can you just let go and move on. Think positively and live happily.

I wish i can be you. I wish i can .......

............ many days, i have just waited. Waiting for you to call me, to ask me how am i? to ask me out for a meal, for a drink, for a chit chat. but your name, your ring tone and your picture just never appear on my phone.

A lot of time, i am trying to call you. I press your number, and i hang up... press again and hang up again.... and my just keep beating extremely fast..... ended i didnt call you.

If i can live forever in my dream, this will be my only wish. I always hope that the dream will never end. Cause every night i will just saw you in my dream. so happy. but i know no matter how, i still need to live back to reality, keep breathing and keep moving.

It have been many days i didnt drop my tears already..... but when i am writing this blog... i don know why, my tears keep dropping. I miss u so so much.

Good to know that you have moving on very well and live happily. Cheers!

5301314

How do you feel when you are missing some one so so much?

I guessed you really have no idea how much i miss you. My arm missed holding you. My eyes missed your smile. My ears missed the sound of your laugh........

How i wish i can be just beside you now, be with you and holding on you. How i wish i can gently touch your face, look into your eye and tell you how much i love you.

I missed being held by you. I missed being near you. I missed you so so much!

So close yet so strange.....

I met up with some one so special to me in my life for dinner few days ago.

I was rather happy and sad. It is a mix feeling.

Happy because got chance to have dinner with this person. Used to be so so close to me. Yet now the feeling is so strange. We are like so close yet so strange. Sad to this happened. But wat to do? This is indeed the fact in life. The real fact that some time we have no choice to reject but to accept it.

Good to see you moving on well also. I just want to see you live happily.

Destination of Life.... Airport!

In Life, everyone will have their own dream to achieve, own destination to reach!
Life is just like an airport! Everyone come from different countries, different places, but with one of the same objective, that is to reach their own different destination!
Where is my destination? What am i looking for in life? I really need to find back to old TJ, which is very motivated, optimistic...........
Come back TJ and move on... don waste any more time!

New journey of life.... and new chapter!

First of all, would like to take this opportunity to wish my close bro good luck and all the best! I am happy that you had found a job and had a brand new start, GAMBADE!
Journey of life is just like the road, it is not always smooth. We just need to face it and go through it and i am sure we will reach our own destination.

Only Heaven Knows.....

There is a lyrics in the song " she always on my mind, from the time i wake up, till i close my eyes, she is everywhere i go........ and though she so far away, it just keep getting stronger everyday.... and even now she is gone, i still holding on...... my friend keep telling me, if you really love her, you got to set her free...... why i live in despair, cos wide awake of dreaming, I know she's never there, and all the time i act so brave, I'm shaking inside, why does it hurt me so?......................... ""

There is time in life that you will feel so dismay, and so so lost. There is time in life that you don know who to talk to. There is time in life that you just want to be alone. There is time in life that you................... I think i had gave myself too much of excuses and reasons to keep holding on. In life, there are things that we can change it. We just have to face it, accept it and remember all the sweet memory and footprints left behind.

I have been slagging a lot lately. I didn't sleep well and i didn't treat myself well enough also. Thanks a lot to all the friends who care and concern so so much about me.

Life has been so miserable to me ever since everything put to a stop. Feeling of missing some one is not good and sometime seem to be so unbearable. Some time just felt so pain in my heart whenever i think of that some one. At time, life of been alone is like a body without a soul and it is so meaningless. But when you walked through it, you only realized, no matter what happened, there are still days, weeks, months, years and decades to come, still days that you need to overcome all the challenges in life.

My sincere wishes for you. All the best! Live happily!

Life is beautiful....Be Happy!

3 years 8 months

It had been an amazing 3 years and eights months ever since we met each other. It seem like yesterday and i still can remember vividly the moment when i fall in love. It was so sweet.

The 100 days

The 100 days!
Times flies. It had not been an easy days and nights.
When it reached the times where your concern seem to be control, your care doesn't seem to be sincere, and couldn't be bother....... i think is really time for myself to rethink who am i? what am i looking for in life? why need to continue to be suffer?
I had a lot of sleepless nights lately. I went to bed rather early and spent at least eight hours there. But when i woke up in the morning, i still feel very tired. Mentally didn't rest well
..................... it is time to really move on!

Coming to 100 days

It is soon to be 100 days.
I hope that i can have a better life, and a brand new start.
Let's pray for me.....

That particluar moment.....

Have you ever tried when your mind is totally empty and you do not know what you should do the next moment? the next minutes and the next seconds?
It is always that particular moment in life that really drive you crazy. You will think of doing things crazily, and so miserably.
It is the moment whether you will awake from the darkness and see some brightness or you cant. It is the moment that every second in life seem to be so precious or worthless.
It is the moment that ............

A Brand New Start!

I really need to find a brand new start!A brand new start in life! A brand new start of getting used to the changes and a brand new start for accepting all the real facts in life! It is always not easy to do so at all!
Life is all about learning! If you think Life is Beautiful, be with it! and let the beautiful life always surround us!

Don let the past determine the future!

For those people who following my blogs, they might say this, how many times you want to mentioned the same things again and again, LET GO? you wont la!
Undeniable that i had mentioned this countless time. I am tired about it also! Talk is always easy! i always said i want to let go, but when come to practice, it is so hard, it is not easy.
I have had many countless sleepless nights and same to the person who is close to me. Sorry!
After years, months, weeks, days and nights, hours and minutes, i have really a deep thought lately. Although i don think i had come out with the best solution for myself, but at least at the moment it is better than before. I think i should not allow my past to affect the present because it is present that determines my futures.
Either your mind is controlling your soul or some time we will have to let the soul to control our mind?

Do you know how the feeling is?

Do you know how the feeling is when you get cheated?
Do you know how the feeling is when you get so lost in life?
Do you know how the feeling is when you get so sick in life?
Do you know how the feeling is when you get into big troubles but so helpless?

At first..... i keep crying and dropping my tears at late night. and lately i found out that it doesn't help to solve the problems. Indeed it spoiled my mood, it spoiled my days, and i am getting so mad and so crazy and hated myself so much...... it is not worth for all this.

It is either you want to continue to have this kind of life. Or you have to changed. Don worry too much any more. Just changed. and move on.

Hope life will be better for me from now on.

I felt so weak.....

This two days, i felt so weak. I cant sleep well at night due to the attacks. Indeed it is quite pain.
The harder you try, the more suffering you feel. Talk is always easy. When you said let go, what does that mean? How do you measure it? It is like when you are in love with some one, how do you measure who love who more? It is very subjective.
When you reached a point where you might loose everything including your life, then only you will know how to appreciate things around you. Things that you might have neglected all this while, things that you might not remember, things that......... That is life!
Some one told me this, if that some one don appreciate what you are doing, why you want to keep suffering?..... and i will said That is life!
Hai............ so tired!

I am so confused.... LIfe?

I felt so confused lately. There are things in life that really out of our hand. A lot of things we cant control it. Yet if you hold it too tight, it will get rid off easily.
Lately i have been bothered by a few things. I am so worried about myself, my career, my health, my future. And i am very worried about a close friend of mine also. I wish that this friend of mine will start to stay focus and work hard! At the same time, i am worried about a dear brother and friend in Singapore also. All the best to him. Although i seldom keep in touch closely with him, but i do really care a lot about him. I knew that he has been bothered by a lot of problems lately. Tomorrow is a better day! cheers!

An important dates, that good to remember!

There is an important friend, who came into my life on 14th August 2004. Time flies... as at today, 14th March 2008, we have known each other for 3 years and 7 moths. Gosh....... really fast.
I would like to take this opportunity to thanks this special person in my life. Thanks for all the sweet memories and happiness that you had brought into my chapter of life. To you, i might just someone that crossed your life, i might just be some one that..... but to me, you are really some one that i can get closed with. Some one that i wish to share all my happiness and sadness with, some one that i care so much, some one that i ........ i know that, we have to look forward. Don always this about that past. Trust me, i have grown up, grew to be more mature, and learned how to let go.
No matter what is going to happened in the future, i really wish to see you happy! and i want to see your success in your life too. Keep up the good work and keep moving! What you need is just be focus!

Brother, I am okie......

A very dear friend and close brother called up yesterday. Thanks for the call brother. I know that you do concern a lot about me all this while. Sorry if i had created a lot of misunderstanding before this. All this while i always think LOVE is everything in my life and is the only Chapter of my life also. But i realized that i am wrong. LOVE is only one of the Chapter in our life. I think i have done my very best to make it one of the most important and wonderful chapter of my life. So is enough and i need to continue to the new chapter in my life.
I have a deep thought lately about myself and my life. I find that i need to change and i need to move on really fast, cos i am not young anymore. Set my priority right!

I want to say something about 08-03-2008

8th of March.... some date which is good to remember.
10 years ago, 8th of March 1998, my sister got married. Happy Anniversary my dear sister!
Wanted to write this on 8th of march 2008, but cant make it as i was in Genting.
Went there a Tsai Chin concert, and it was really a good one. I enjoyed so much, and it make me realized a lot in that 2.5 hours concert.
There is always the moment in life that you felt so lost, and so miserable. Don stop your tears as it is. Look forward and move on. Things will definitely be better.
Face the reality and move on. when u love some one, you want to see them live happily also! good luck!